Week 1

So it has been a while since I have written a blog, and that is because I have been at Providence Sports camps all week. There are computers there just never enough time to actually stop and write a blog. But let me just quickly tell you this past week was unreal. Actually better then any week I have ever been a part of as a camper as far as theme nights went. All the kids were super into everything and the Grammy Night was a huge highlight as everyone just let loose and had a good time.

Also the team I coached for Volleyfest (league play) was pretty awesome. We were called Team 1, ya it confused the other teams because we were Team #4 before we had a name. But although we lost in the semi-finals it was all good because the team was all good times all the time, and from the first awkward supper where no one talked or knew what to say to the last day of taking pictures and exchanging contact information with everyone it really was a good time.

Favorite Quotes of the Week
"Shoot My iPod is in my pocket!"
"Really?"
"No I'm not stupid" (During Gut Check where the kids are crawling in mud)

"Just letting you know I would have made that serve coach"

"I think you are underestimating my abilities coach"

"Ya, You like sausage don't you"

"Can you do Gut Check instead of BJ?"

"You start to think he is sarcastic and joking but he never is"


All around a great week looking forward to week 2!

Excuse Me

So today I am in Superstore hoping to buy a few tennis balls for the match that was coming up that afternoon. And apparently in Superstore you can only buy a sack of 18 tennis balls and not just a small tin of three tennis balls. But at first I think that this can not be true, there must be three tennis balls somewhere. So this is what happens.

Ryan: Excuse me, do you know if there is anywhere I can find just three tennis balls rather then a large bag of 18.

Kind Lady: Well I don't work here but I am sure that they must come in a tin of three somewhere. Let's go take a look.

That could not have gone any better for me mistaking a kind lady for an employee. Turns out you can only buy them in a sack of 18. And 18 was definitely a good choice, although I have a feeling it may now only be 17. Oh well it's all good.

Advice

I would like to give you guys all some advice.

1. Do not take a three hour nap from 8 - 11 PM and then expect to be able to sleep for the rest of the night.

2. Do go see Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

3. Do not go see Harry Potter at midnight and sleep for three hours and expect to be able to work perfectly fine the next day.

I did all three of those, well not fully the third one, luckily it rained the morning after Harry Potter at midnight so I was able to sleep and did not have to work until noon the next day. But I still would not recommend the combination. It is not as good as it sounds.

Wasps

I just wanted to quickly let you know that I have decided that a Wasp Sting is easily the worst thing that could ever happen to a person in their lifetime. I hope that you do not encounter such a situation ever. Let me set the scene.

My co-worker (Manny Goossen) and myself are painting a house like we do every day. And Marshall goes in a small little bush garden to paint, I follow in shortly after to cut in on the edges and.. BAM! a wasp stings me right on the ankle. I am writhing in pain, rolling on the ground as if I had snapped my leg in two, it was even more pain then that though. So basically Marty angered the wasp and then it bit me, turns out as we hit the small bush garden that there was a nest underneath and there were about 9 - 10 wasps protecting their home. So lame!

Also Winnipeg is Slurpee Capitol of the World for the 10'th straight year! I forget if I posted that already but it is so good it can be posted twice.

Just In

Alright guys this is big news and I would encourage you all to use this. On my actual blog site you can now become a follower and see your name on the side. I am not really sure how this works but I just wanted to spice things up for you the reader a little bit so please enjoy.

Also this past week I watched Little Children... Not actual little children but the movie... haha.... You're all thinking "Ya right like I am going to follow a guy who watches little children.." But no that's not my style. But seriously the movie was nuts, really messed up but still pretty good. I can see why it won awards. And I also watched Pubic Enemies... or Public Enemies. My co-worker (Manny Goossen) and I have an on going joke about that name. Anyways I didn't like it, way too long and just constant shoot em' up. Ya I don't like those typical "guy" movies like that, they really just bore me to sleep, which I did do again in the theatres. It's cool though.

Jaundice

So a while back myself and my co-worker (Manny Goossen) were painting a house near the zoo. The day was going just lovely, we had been painting for about two hours and we were just about to go on our break, when the homeowner came outside.

Homeowner: Has Jason (our boss) left yet to get more paint?
Me: Yes but he should be back pretty soon probably?
Homeowner: OK... what do you guys think of the color?
My co-worker and I both look at each other for a moment.
Manny: It's nice.
Homeowner: I hate it!
Manny: Really?
Homeowner: Ya it just looks like my house has Jaundice.

Wow well said, I thought it looked more like Banana Chocolate Chip.

Also here is a joke for the day that I heard on Sunday.

So Farrah Farrah Fawcett dies and she goes to heaven the she meets Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter says that Farrah can have on wish. And Farrah says "I want all the children of the world to be safe."
Later that day Micheal Jackson died and now all the children of the world are safe.

I hope it's not too soon for a Micheal Jackson joke, but I had a good laugh and thought others might as well.

The Toronto Maple Leafs

Got this email today, these are probably the best jokes I have read in my life. Please Enjoy!

What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
A: They both look good until they hit the ice.

What's the difference between the Toronto Maple Leafs and a cigarette vending machine?
A: The vending machine has Players!

What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and whales have in common?
A: They both get totally confused when surrounded by ice.

Why are the Toronto Maple Leafs like Canada Post?
A: They both wear uniforms and don't deliver!

Why doesn't Hamilton have an NHL team?
A: Because then Toronto would want one...

What do the Toronto Maple Leafs, Toronto Argonauts and the Toronto Blue Jays all have in common besides being based in Toronto?
A. None of them can play hockey.

What do you call 30 millionaires around a TV watching the Stanley Cup Playoffs?
A. The Toronto Maple Leafs.

What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and Billy Graham have in common?
A. They both can make 20,000 people stand up and yell 'Jesus Christ'.

How do you keep the Toronto Maple Leafs out of your yard?
A. Put up a goal net.

What do you call a Toronto Maple Leaf with a Stanley Cup ring?
A. A thief.

What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and possums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

How many Toronto Maple Leafs does it take to win a Stanley Cup?
A. Nobody knows... And we may never find out.


This guy says to the bartender, “Can my dog and I watch the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey game here? My cable is out, and my dog and I always watch the game together.”

The bartender replies, “Normally, dogs wouldn’t be allowed in my bar, but it’s not very busy right now, so you and the dog can have a seat at the end of the bar. But, if there’s any trouble with you or the dog, I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

The guy agrees, and he and his dog start watching the game. Pretty soon, the Leafs manage to score a goal and the excited dog jumps up on the bar, barks loudly, does a back flip and runs over to the bartender and gives him a high-five.

The bartender says, “Wow, that’s pretty cool! What does he do when they win a game ?”

The guys answers, “No idea, I’ve only had him for 3 years.”



The last time the Maple Leafs won the Stanley Cup most of their fans were in diapers.
Coincidentally, the next time they win it those same fans will be back in diapers again...