Judgement

So today I was a little bit late getting to church and it was pretty full when we got there, so we asked the usher to see if knows where some seats are. And I am absolutely positive that ushers just thrive on this. If I was an usher and I see someone get in late these are for sure my exact thoughts.

Late Comers : "Do you know of any seats?"

Usher: "Ya follow me" (Thought in Head: Oh I am going to show them not to ever be late for church again.. Haha. Ya right to the front with those heathens. Think they can come to church and just slip in without being noticed. No way my friend, they are for sure going to hear this sermon, ya, they need Jesus the most.)

And it doesn't just stop at the ushers, it's everyone you walk past too. As they all watch you go up and place judgement upon your tardiness.

I'm just saying you know that when it comes time for coffee no one is going to be trying to associate with you and become your new best friend.

Speeding

So today I had the best idea of all time! You will all be really happy to hear about this. Even though I know that no one would actually go for this idea, I still think it is a winner. Here it is!

So everyone in their lifetime at one point or another has been speeding while driving their car. And everybody wants to go faster but they don't want the ticket, plus it is the law to follow the speed limit. But I thought of an invention to stop people from speeding. Somehow with the amazing technology that we have here in this country we make a function on the car so that as soon as you start speeding (or are above say 10 over) all of the heat, AC and radio turn off. So you can still speed but at the consequence of no radio or heat or AC and I know in Winnipeg if it is between a freezing car or being a bit late for something I would for sure just go late so that I get some heat in my car. Anyways just a thought. Tell me what you think.

Now obviously no one would ever want this. But perhaps a responsible person might enjoy a friendly reminder to follow the law here and there.

Better yet actually if you speed your horn starts going off non-stop, then everyone will know who you are and cops will find you so easily. Man that is so sick .

Confession

So I feel like I need to share this with people.

I have started fake tanning in preparation for my trip to Mexico. And I have to say as soon as I walk into to fabutan I really like to just walk straight into the room and not run into anyone that may recognize me (But I still share this with everyone...).

Anyways, on the off chance that I do see anyone I know, or really anybody for that matter, I feel the need to explain to them right away that this is not a normal routine of mine. So I start rambling.. .

"Have to get ready for the trip... "

They don't say anything, or really care for that matter, but I keep talking

"Because I wouldn't really do this normally..."

They are now caring a big because they probably do normally do this.

"Not that it's a bad thing... "

Oh dear I should really stop talking now.

"But I mean it is feeding you straight cancer... "

Why did I even say any of that? They didn't even ask questions. I just felt the need to explain myself for doing the exact same thing that they are doing.

Also on a side note this conversation has not really ever happened, but I do always inform people that I am tanning for the vacay!!! In 11 days! So sick.

Bruised and Sick

So today I stayed home from work because I was sick. Kind of bitter sweet, it was nice to not be working outside in the cold like the past few days but still sucked to be just laying around all day. I don't know where the whole sickness came from. Like I know I was outside in the cold, but I don't think I had specific cold symptoms. It started yesterday near the end of the work day. I just started having this headache, but it was bearable until later in the evening at my soccer game. My head was pounding and I suddenly just got all stuffed up and couldn't breathe out of my nose and had almost no energy. Like I would just jog over to get the ball and be flat out of breathe, it was just horrible. So I woke up this morning and just felt exhausted and my head was still pounding with pain. So I called in sick and went back to sleep.

Also I finally noticed today all of the bruises that I got from playing goalie at floor hockey the other day. I have one on my left bicep, and another one on like my left inner thigh, I don't even know how that one got there. I just feel beat up and tired right now. Hopefully I will actually rest up this weekend, but somehow that just never happens.

20 Days

So I have not broadcasted this to very many people but I am finally ready to tell you all that in 20 days I will be leaving on a flight to the Barcelo Mayan Beach Resort. Yes that is an all inclusive resort in Mexico. The fam jam has been talking about doing a trip for Christmas for a long time and it is finally time for it this year.

Also I am trying to really hard to go to the Olympics. Right now my choice is looking like I should just go and spend the money because it really is a once in a lifetime experience, so it is for sure worth being in debt for a little while. Man my life is awesome.

Remember When? ... Day 29

Remember when I used to update my blog everyday about my no shave adventures. No? Me neither.

Anyways not really a lot other then that I am nearing the end. I might just shave at the end of November as I am sure a few more days will not make a huge difference. Although the beard does keep me warm at work when I am outside.

Also I am now registered for classes at U of W. So if you are in any of these classes or have a spare at the same time as me we can start being friends again .

Intro to Business II 8:30 - 9:45

Intro to Economics: Macro 10:00 - 11:15

Spare 11:30 - 12:45

Intro to Cultural Anthropology 1:00 - 2:15

This is on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Let me know if I have a friend in any of these classes. Or perhaps a new friend.

Day 7

So here is Day 7. I really have not a lot to say right now though other then the picture. I know that the beard is not overly visible but I will give you a good one soon, where the full under the chin is visible. Right now I am just showing you all how good looking I am...

Today for church I went to check out Riverwood and it was pretty sweet. Best part is that their pastor just said it like it is, he did not beat around the bush.

"What an athlete!"

Day 5

So yes this is day 5. I skipped a day because I fell asleep by accident yesterday.

I think my facial hair grows back way slower when I completely clean shave, because when I just trim it feels like my facial hair grows a lot faster. But I guess I will just have to wait and see.

I thought this was a fun picture to post, I was going to do a flip book at first but now that I think about it, I would have to be in the exact same position every time for the flip book to actually work. So I will just be more fun and different with every picture.

Also I worked 11 hours today it was a long day.

Day 3

Still seems like almost no difference at all. Strange how things will just pop up on you... (thats what she said)

Anyways today played goalie in my indoor soccer game. First indoor game in really I can't even remember how long, and after allowing two goals on two shots. I quickly regained my composure and kept a shut out for the rest of the game.

Day 2

So here is Day 2, not a whole lot of difference other then that I my lips are relatively red because of the cold weather making my lips chapped and I have no chap stick right now. I put it through the washing machine by accident like I do with every other chap stick I have.

Anyways I am happy because my senior mens volleyball team finally won a game today. It's about time.

Day 1

This is me on the first day of No-Shave November, I realize that I started a bit late, so I will go two days into December to make up for it. But I am clearly completely clean shaven, let's see where this month takes us.

Also today at work a new guy working with us called me Brian all day, I didn't stop him because I thought it was funny. I had a goal of trying to convince him to call me "Big B" by the end of the day, but then another co-worker ruined that dream for me, and he now knows my real name. Shoot.

November

K so I realize I have really sucked a blogging lately, but I just have a quick story and proposal for what my next month of blogging will look like. Here goes.

So the other day I am at work and a co-worker approaches me and he always has questions to ask, which is great, makes the day more interesting.

CW - Co-worker

R - Ryan (Me)

CW - Well aren't you guys wearing quite the bright colored gloves.

(We wear bright green gloves, for me it is for warmth, not really protection, but if I don't wear them my hands dry up and crack and bleed)

R - Ya whatever keeps the hands warm.

(There is a bit of a pause in conversation)

CW - Are you optimistic Ryan?

(I am confused by the question as I am not sure what this has to do with my glove color)

R - What?

CW - You just look unhappy that I would ask about your glove color? Are you an optimist?

R - I'm not sure what do you think.

CW - Well do you have a positive outlook on...

(I interrupt him)

R- I understand what the word means.

(Laughs)

CW - So are you optimistic or pessimistic?

R - I think I am more of a realist.

CW - Well is the glass half full or half empty?

R- Definitely half full.

CW - So you are an optimist.

R - No more of a realist, I don't expect the impossible to happen.

CW - I think maybe you are a philosopher.

R - Maybe

And I realize now that the conversation was really funny in the moment and this blog does not do it justice. But it makes me wonder, Do I come across as an optimist or a pessimist?

I have been told once by someone that they are surprised how optimistic I am because of how sarcastic I am, I guess people who are sarcastic appear to be bitter pessimistic people. Anyways I know I have lost my following because I have not blogged in forever ( Ya your laughing because I think I have a following) but if you could let me know what I come across as to you. Ok go!

Also the goal for November is to photograph a picture of myself everyday so that I can eventually make a flip-book or slideshow of the progress that I have made in No-Shave November. Game On!

Irony

I would just like to say that there is nothing I appreciate more then a good ironic situation. For example an overweight person in a gym teachers office. But the ironic situation I would love to point out was from the office this week, and I feel like a lot of people missed it so I feel the need to point it out, I realize that might ruin the joke completely But I wouldn't worry about that.

So Jim is doing a toast at his wedding about how he waited for Pam to finally fall in love with him and get married. And then it slips that Pam is pregnant and can't have a drink and they end up having a big conversation about the whole situation and then to end the whole situation Jim gives a toast to Waiting. I hope you all get the irony in this, like waiting for Pam but they couldn't wait to have a kid. So funny! It's not a laugh out loud funny but as I heard it I thought "Ya I am smart enough to understand that little joke"

Hopefully you are enjoyed that moment as much as I did, also watch the Office more if you don't already watch it enough.

Personal Photographer

So I was thinking today that it would be so awesome to hire a personal photographer to take pictures of my everyday life situations. And that person could just follow me everywhere, and maybe if they were multi talented they could even put all the pictures in a book for me and then write a story to document my life. Because really we all forget things and it would be helpful to go back in your photograph life book and be like "No this is how it really happened" because of course the other person is wrong in the conversation.

If you are interested in taking this position I will accept all applications, it will start out as a volunteer position for you, but as you become successful selling lots of stories about my life I will be able to pay you a small portion of it.

Or maybe I could just get someone to tape my life like in the Truman Show. . .

Sad Day

It was a Sad Day in Winnipeg on October 9'th when it snowed...

Yes it has already snowed, it actually started snowing on the 8'th but on the 9'th it seems that it may be here for good. So much for a short winter, after the hottest September I can remember October has gone downhill. This is usually around the time of year that I ask myself why I live in Winnipeg still.

Also pretty pumped about tomorrow, volleyball is going to be good. I don't even play but I still feel like I experience it just as much.

Six Minutes

I meant to post this a couple days ago but I forgot and time just goes to fast. But on Tuesday our volleyball team had a game and won the first set in Six Minutes. Well seven if you count the one minute timeout by the other team. It was nuts. Everything Happened So Quickly.

Song of the Day - Like Toy Soldiers - Eminem

Also there is a good chance I will be your next favorite reality TV Star on The Amazing Race. The Application is filled out and just needs to be mailed. My destiny is finally happening.

Memories

So some of you may or may not know that in my more rebellious grade eleven years I once made a choice to rearrange the bathroom stalls at school and in return received a suspension for it from the school.

Well today I would like you all to know that I got paid at work to take apart the bathroom stalls! Isn't it interesting how the tables have turned.

Also check out this article. Some guy sued Bank of America for so much money!

http://www.reuters.com/article/domesticNews/idUSTRE58O3BK20090925

I guess smiles won't be free anymore...

Weekend

Another weekend has come to an end and this one was once again a success and this is what I did.

1. First volleyball tournament at the year. I wasn't playing just coaching, but those weekends are just awesome. And although the tournament didn't quite end the way we wanted I am pretty pumped about the rest of the season and what can be accomplished.

2. A super sweet Saturday night, it is not often you go to one quarter of a bomber game, Sargent Sundaes, and then watch 8 Mile all in the same night. It was good times all around. Also I am starting up a rap group...

3. Soccer Finals on Sunday. Unfortunately we lost the game 3 - 2. However I scored a goal, and I got a yellow card. So that is minus 1 for the loss, plus one for the goal and plus one for the yellow. So the game finishes as a positive. Sweet.

4. I got my phone bill and realized that I forgot to pay the last one, however someone it came in as if someone had actually paid the last one. So sweet!

But now it is time to go back to work tomorrow. Although it is pay day so really it can't be too bad of a day other then that it is Monday, but we will just have to make it worth while.

Song of the Day: Use Somebody - Kings of Leon

Head Engineer

The other day at work I was elected to be the Head Engineer of Waste Management ( That wasn't actually what we called it, but I really can not remember the official name). And I know what you are all wondering and to answer your question "Yes, that is on top of all my other duties, and no there is no pay raise."

But the title is worth it, just wait until I remember the actual name of my position, but basically it means that I sweep the floor more... Oh well it pays the bills, all though there is no raise with the title either, I guess that means I can't reject it.

Also I have not done this in a while but today it is time for song of the day.

Taylor Swift - You Belong With Me

I know so lame right, well w/e I'm a Swift fan, but I am also a Kanye fan and I know that sooner or later to show it is all over they will perform a song together, because that is what all hip-hop people do. Or at least Kanye will mention Swift in a song.

Obama?

So do any of you guys remember when Obama was being interviewed and he killed a fly just out of no where. Well I just want you guys to know that I totally did that today. I saw a fly, and it was not stationary it was actually flying around but I just had a feeling that I was faster and stronger then the fly today. So I tracked down it's path and just clapped it and killed it.

So ya know big deal but I am just as cool as that hip president of ours, well not mine now that I think about it. I could have just put this nice and short on my facebook status or something but that would have been lame.

Glasses

So here is a quick little blurb about a thought I have had recently, actually not even recently I have had this thought for a very long time and have now decided it is the right time to blog about it.

The Topic: Glasses

The Problem: 1. I have them

2. When people wear fake glasses!

I just hate it when people who have perfect 20/20 vision wear fake glasses, it actually drives me insane. I just do not understand how someone who has been blessed with the gift of perfect eyesight feels the need to try to and be "trendy" or "stlyin" with their stupid fake glasses. There are so many people out there who have glasses and so badly want to have perfect vision, laser surgery is something I am nearly positive that everyone would have if they had the money for it.

The downsides of glasses are very clear to me, well really there are a few but one really big one is no peripheral vision! Due to your weak eyesight you can never just check something out of the side of your sight line because it is blurry.

So please stop wearing fake glasses it makes the rest of us who have glasses feel like idiots and not like you very much. The End.

Phones

So if you actually still check my blog regularly for updates I really do commend you because I have just sucked lately at blogging which is weird because I have had a ton of good ideas to tell you about lately, but I will start slow and I hope to blog at least 2 - 3 times a week now that I have internet, and coming soon there will be a video tour of my new home.

Lately I have had a new fear come to me since living in my new home, most of you already know of my completely rational fear of birds. But lately my fear has been losing my phone in my house. I have no home phone to call the number.

So if I lose my phone and there is no friend over or anything there is almost no way of me finding my phone, all I do is pray that someone will phone me immediately so I can hear my phone ring and find it. Anyways yes I know you all might have had this fear before, but really what else could I do in the situation? Other then of course worst case scenario lose my phone.

So the internet at my new home is really sketchy and I was just able to steal some from the internet so I decided the best possible use of my time is to blog.

So my new house is pretty sweet, people might think that it is small but for just two of us living here it really is the perfect size. And strangely even though I have not blogged in so long I still feel like I have nothing to blog about. But I will tell two quick stories.

1. The other day I was about to leave for church in the morning and I looked out the window and on my new freshly cut lawn there were about 1000 birds. Well not that many but there were probably over 200 on my lawn and the two neighbors plus the neighbors across the street, and really the whole street was filled with birds. And to leave my house I had to jingle my keys so that I would scare them out of the way. It was quite the thrill.

2. I realized that at most places my legacy lives on through only one thing, and that thing is aerobics. Yes aerobics is the most memorable thing that I do at most places. So it's pretty cool, I am thinking of making a video for people to purchase. If you would purchase a DVD with me leading aerobics please let me know if you would buy it, I could use the extra cash.

Summer

This might just be my longest blogging drought ever. And I really did not mean for it to last this long because really I have had a lot to say just no time to say it. To quickly go over the past few weeks.

Week three of Prov volleyball camp was a good time as always, another good group of campers out and I am sure that everyone had a really fun time. Best part of that week was easily the amount of times that we made the campers think that they were in trouble and were going to have to run but then turned out to just be joking, and one time I ended up leading them in some very fun Ryan Malech Aerobics.

Week four of Prov, soccer camp. It was pretty fun even though I was only there for three days. Although my favorite part was not even part of camp that much it was just the coaches taking some Penalty shots on me after a session and I make a massive diving save on Dante, which I am told was on camera and I still need to see that video.

This past weekend I was in Minneapolis for Tom and Lauras wedding, and it was a hoot. Met some new people, and just had some good times. Went to Mall of America and Albertville, that whole spiel, and I got some sweet deals on a new jacket, a couple pairs of shorts and a t-shirt or two. It was overall a successful trip.

And as of yesterday I am officially moved out on my own, and it is so far so good, although I still have not had to pay any bills yet... So we will just wait and see how that goes, but this year I am sure there are good times to come.

I tried to keep this short so people would still read it, but there was just so much to report back on. So Peace out, and hopefully I will be more diligent in blogging during the next few weeks.

Week 2

Sorry it has taken me so long to have time to post another blog I have really been quite busy and tired lately. And I am about to just take a nap during my break here at Prov. But I needed to first share some memories of week 2.

Week 2 really only has one main memory for me, and that would be my first Volleyfest Championship ever, although I never got one as a player I was finally able to pull out a victory as a coach, in only my sophmore coaching week I showed all the vetran skills needed to win a championship. I will talk mainly of the playoffs, with some brief league play details. Here is the press release.

Smeegels Army showed a lot of promise during round robin play, but going into their last game they still had a chance to finish in first place, however unfortunately with two straight losses in their last match they finished in fourth. However they were still psyched for playoffs and knew that anything could happen on the last day of camp. In the playoffs they were set to play against T.I double guh- Ers, or in other words the Tiggers. They were an evenly matched team during round robin play, but Smeegels Army had beaten them 3 out of 4 sets, giving them somewhat of an upperhand.

In the first set The Tiggers came out with a stunning 26-24 win, putting Smeegels Army in a small hole that they would need to work themselves out of, which would prove to be difficult. In the second set Coach Malech called a timeout with his team down 21-16, hoping to rally up the tropps one last time. These were his words:

"No matter what happens out there we are going to play the best volleyball we have played all week in these last points no matter how long it lasts."

And that is exactly what they did, rallying back to win the second set 25-22, the team was absolutely pumped to play a third set, and they proved it rushing out to a quick 6-1 lead. And eventually carrying that momentum on through to win the second set.

The finals would prove to be a tough match against "The Packees" who claimed to be from Pakistan. It was fianlly a chance to pull out a big victory, one to be remembered for the ages, but at this time Smeegels Army was rallying together from their past success and getting better with every play, with stellar defense and an immeasurable amount of desire Smeegels Army powered through for two straight set wins and the Volleyfest Championship, although the tip for game point was somewhat dissapointing it still won the match. Congratulations on a great season Smeegels Army!

Week 1

So it has been a while since I have written a blog, and that is because I have been at Providence Sports camps all week. There are computers there just never enough time to actually stop and write a blog. But let me just quickly tell you this past week was unreal. Actually better then any week I have ever been a part of as a camper as far as theme nights went. All the kids were super into everything and the Grammy Night was a huge highlight as everyone just let loose and had a good time.

Also the team I coached for Volleyfest (league play) was pretty awesome. We were called Team 1, ya it confused the other teams because we were Team #4 before we had a name. But although we lost in the semi-finals it was all good because the team was all good times all the time, and from the first awkward supper where no one talked or knew what to say to the last day of taking pictures and exchanging contact information with everyone it really was a good time.

Favorite Quotes of the Week
"Shoot My iPod is in my pocket!"
"Really?"
"No I'm not stupid" (During Gut Check where the kids are crawling in mud)

"Just letting you know I would have made that serve coach"

"I think you are underestimating my abilities coach"

"Ya, You like sausage don't you"

"Can you do Gut Check instead of BJ?"

"You start to think he is sarcastic and joking but he never is"


All around a great week looking forward to week 2!

Excuse Me

So today I am in Superstore hoping to buy a few tennis balls for the match that was coming up that afternoon. And apparently in Superstore you can only buy a sack of 18 tennis balls and not just a small tin of three tennis balls. But at first I think that this can not be true, there must be three tennis balls somewhere. So this is what happens.

Ryan: Excuse me, do you know if there is anywhere I can find just three tennis balls rather then a large bag of 18.

Kind Lady: Well I don't work here but I am sure that they must come in a tin of three somewhere. Let's go take a look.

That could not have gone any better for me mistaking a kind lady for an employee. Turns out you can only buy them in a sack of 18. And 18 was definitely a good choice, although I have a feeling it may now only be 17. Oh well it's all good.

Advice

I would like to give you guys all some advice.

1. Do not take a three hour nap from 8 - 11 PM and then expect to be able to sleep for the rest of the night.

2. Do go see Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

3. Do not go see Harry Potter at midnight and sleep for three hours and expect to be able to work perfectly fine the next day.

I did all three of those, well not fully the third one, luckily it rained the morning after Harry Potter at midnight so I was able to sleep and did not have to work until noon the next day. But I still would not recommend the combination. It is not as good as it sounds.

Wasps

I just wanted to quickly let you know that I have decided that a Wasp Sting is easily the worst thing that could ever happen to a person in their lifetime. I hope that you do not encounter such a situation ever. Let me set the scene.

My co-worker (Manny Goossen) and myself are painting a house like we do every day. And Marshall goes in a small little bush garden to paint, I follow in shortly after to cut in on the edges and.. BAM! a wasp stings me right on the ankle. I am writhing in pain, rolling on the ground as if I had snapped my leg in two, it was even more pain then that though. So basically Marty angered the wasp and then it bit me, turns out as we hit the small bush garden that there was a nest underneath and there were about 9 - 10 wasps protecting their home. So lame!

Also Winnipeg is Slurpee Capitol of the World for the 10'th straight year! I forget if I posted that already but it is so good it can be posted twice.

Just In

Alright guys this is big news and I would encourage you all to use this. On my actual blog site you can now become a follower and see your name on the side. I am not really sure how this works but I just wanted to spice things up for you the reader a little bit so please enjoy.

Also this past week I watched Little Children... Not actual little children but the movie... haha.... You're all thinking "Ya right like I am going to follow a guy who watches little children.." But no that's not my style. But seriously the movie was nuts, really messed up but still pretty good. I can see why it won awards. And I also watched Pubic Enemies... or Public Enemies. My co-worker (Manny Goossen) and I have an on going joke about that name. Anyways I didn't like it, way too long and just constant shoot em' up. Ya I don't like those typical "guy" movies like that, they really just bore me to sleep, which I did do again in the theatres. It's cool though.

Jaundice

So a while back myself and my co-worker (Manny Goossen) were painting a house near the zoo. The day was going just lovely, we had been painting for about two hours and we were just about to go on our break, when the homeowner came outside.

Homeowner: Has Jason (our boss) left yet to get more paint?
Me: Yes but he should be back pretty soon probably?
Homeowner: OK... what do you guys think of the color?
My co-worker and I both look at each other for a moment.
Manny: It's nice.
Homeowner: I hate it!
Manny: Really?
Homeowner: Ya it just looks like my house has Jaundice.

Wow well said, I thought it looked more like Banana Chocolate Chip.

Also here is a joke for the day that I heard on Sunday.

So Farrah Farrah Fawcett dies and she goes to heaven the she meets Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter says that Farrah can have on wish. And Farrah says "I want all the children of the world to be safe."
Later that day Micheal Jackson died and now all the children of the world are safe.

I hope it's not too soon for a Micheal Jackson joke, but I had a good laugh and thought others might as well.

The Toronto Maple Leafs

Got this email today, these are probably the best jokes I have read in my life. Please Enjoy!

What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
A: They both look good until they hit the ice.

What's the difference between the Toronto Maple Leafs and a cigarette vending machine?
A: The vending machine has Players!

What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and whales have in common?
A: They both get totally confused when surrounded by ice.

Why are the Toronto Maple Leafs like Canada Post?
A: They both wear uniforms and don't deliver!

Why doesn't Hamilton have an NHL team?
A: Because then Toronto would want one...

What do the Toronto Maple Leafs, Toronto Argonauts and the Toronto Blue Jays all have in common besides being based in Toronto?
A. None of them can play hockey.

What do you call 30 millionaires around a TV watching the Stanley Cup Playoffs?
A. The Toronto Maple Leafs.

What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and Billy Graham have in common?
A. They both can make 20,000 people stand up and yell 'Jesus Christ'.

How do you keep the Toronto Maple Leafs out of your yard?
A. Put up a goal net.

What do you call a Toronto Maple Leaf with a Stanley Cup ring?
A. A thief.

What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and possums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

How many Toronto Maple Leafs does it take to win a Stanley Cup?
A. Nobody knows... And we may never find out.


This guy says to the bartender, “Can my dog and I watch the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey game here? My cable is out, and my dog and I always watch the game together.”

The bartender replies, “Normally, dogs wouldn’t be allowed in my bar, but it’s not very busy right now, so you and the dog can have a seat at the end of the bar. But, if there’s any trouble with you or the dog, I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

The guy agrees, and he and his dog start watching the game. Pretty soon, the Leafs manage to score a goal and the excited dog jumps up on the bar, barks loudly, does a back flip and runs over to the bartender and gives him a high-five.

The bartender says, “Wow, that’s pretty cool! What does he do when they win a game ?”

The guys answers, “No idea, I’ve only had him for 3 years.”



The last time the Maple Leafs won the Stanley Cup most of their fans were in diapers.
Coincidentally, the next time they win it those same fans will be back in diapers again...

Conspiracy Theory

So today at work I had some time to bounce off my new theories with some of my co-workers and I decided it was only fair I share some of those ideas with you the readers. Even though my readers are probably dwindling because I do not blog enough I still try to keep you informed on my deepest thoughts. 

So here it is take this and chew on it for a while...

My new theory is that the weather people and sunscreen people are working together, within this theory I also believe that SPF is all a made up number, and also the UV ray index is also a made up number. Now let me explain...

UV Ray Theory - The weather channel (which would also be the sunscreen people) changes the UV Ray Index to try to encourage people to buy sunscreen. I mean I understand that you get burnt only in the summer, however apparently today the UV Index was 8 which is quite high and it was actually not that hot outside compared to usual. So they raise the Index so that people think that they need to go get sunscreen even though it isn't hot. So really the number is just made up and chosen everyday out of a hat with numbers ranging from 6 - 8 during the summer. 

SPF Theory - So my theory here is that SPF is just a made up number for different types of sunscreen. It really has no effect on how much it will actually protect your skin. Now I don't shop for sunscreen but can someone please tell me... Does it cost more money for higher SPF? If yes then it is definitely a scam so that people will pay more money so it is less likely for them to get burned... But really the number means nothing. 

So the system basically goes High UV --> More Sunscreen     Higher UV --> Stronger Sunscreen

And lets be honest here people, if you are prone to burn you will regardless of your SPF.

If someone can prove me wrong in any of these I will consider letting them go, however if not I will enter them as a Conspiracy Theory on Wikipedia, which is also the most reliable source on the internet besides my blog.

Canker City

http://mangoossen.blogspot.com/2009/06/canker-city.html#comment-form

The other day painting me and my co-worker (Manny Goossen) had the exact same day, but he has already worded it far better then I ever could. Please enjoy on his blog

Dear TLC,

So although I do not actually watch the show Jon and Kate plus 8 it is nearly impossible to not know what is going on and basically for anyone that has managed not to hear anything about this basically it sounds like they are breaking up for good on the next show.

I would like to start off by saying I think that these shows that TLC does are absolutely ridiculous and is a good thing to get into if you are looking for a way to tear your family apart. Doing the show is the worst thing you can possibly do for the kids because it basically gives them no real life, and several hundred thousand other people following your fake scripted life. Anyways but I have two main problems. 

1. Kate... Now I will admit I watched the season premier of this season just to know what was going on and there is one thing she said that absolutely showed me how much the show had ruined her. Now I believe this was the quote "Regardless what happens the show will go on even if it is just Kate plus 8..." Are you actually serious? You are going to put keeping the show going on in front of keeping your family together... Wow if you didn't already know too much money is no good for anybody you should know now. She is so incredibly selfish in that statement, putting aside everything that really matters so that there can still be a show and she can still be getting money. If she had kids that were old enough I wish that they would tell her off for that. 

2. TLC... I don't know for sure about this one but I am making a rather logical guess here, but keep in mind I can be wrong (although unlikely). I am going to go out on a limb and say that TLC is probably really happy about this potential divorce that is brewing, because their ratings have gone through the rough because of it (unfortunately I also helped in this). It just makes me so mad that major companies like this are more concerned about ratings rather then the people whose lives they are turning into hell because of it. 

If anyone had any logic they would cancel the show as quickly as they can and start putting the kids lives ahead of everything else. It really makes me wonder when a good "non-hollywood" channel like TLC is basically promoting divorce, What were their intentions with the show and the marriage in the first place?

I propose a Jon and Kate boycott to all and then the show will be forced to cancel. 

Chase The Cure

So I have a friend Wes Bauer who is currently biking across Canada to raise money for Cancer. And I just watched a new video he put up and it is totally awesome, and I would encourage everyone to check out his website and all the stuff he is doing. He wins the prize for someone who is really living life. 

http://www.chasethecure.ca/index.html

So Check it out.

Forever

So I realized the other day when a committed reader let me know I had not blogged in a while. However when I came to my blog to sign in I realized that my counter had increased by about 100 hits in the span of whenever the last time I blogged was. I would like to know if there are actually 100 new readers every week or if there are like 5 of you checking about twenty times regularly for a new post. Regardless every reader is important and deserves to be entertained weather there are five very committed readers or 100 lost souls on the internet that have accidently been sent to my blog.

Life has been pretty dec lately, I am not longer doing concrete because working from 6 AM - 10 PM is just a bit too long of a day for me no matter how good the money I am making. So I am now painting with my longtime friend Manny Goossen with Chromatic Painting. It is a good time, so relaxing, just paint and talk and enjoy life. I much rather enjoy painting outside rather then inside because inside there is just too much you have to be careful of. 

Also I am only painting for a while longer because I have maneuvered my schedule around so that I can coach at Prov sports Camps. Seriously it is going to be the best, I am super pumped for it. I mean being a kid at the Camps was pretty much always the best part of the summer, so now being a coach on the other side of it for triple the length pretty much guarantees me to have the greatest summer of my life. Anyways, I will attempt to update more often for all of you. Not just one but for all, because you are all equal readers... except if you comment on my blogs or ask me to post more often I will value you more highly.

I just want to quickly say before I head off to bed.

You know it's a good day when you go to drop off the kids at the pool (holla Jason) and you go to clean up and there is nothing to clean because it already is. 

Seriously it has happened often lately, easily the best. If you don't understand what I am talking about then you will just have to wait until you are older.

Better

So today I completed my first 14 hour work day... It was as good as it sounds. And seriously I spent a lot of that time driving. I drove about 200 kilometers today, anyways now I am about to go to sleep and wake up ready for another long day, just needed to make a quick post though. Also I am trying so hard to not let my job take over my life, because although people try to understand they don't get that I would actually much rather be done work at a normal time so that I can actually hang out with them rather then just be exhausted and ready for sleep. 

Anyways, I also would like to add that there is a rumor out there that my dream girl is following my blog regularly and I do not know who you are. So please identify yourself... or feel free to submit any possible leads you can think of. Your help is greatly appreciated.

Just one thing

All I want to say is that I hope I never update my facebook status from my phone. If any of you ever see me do this please force me to remove my facebook account, also I would even consider throwing out my phone because of the embarrassment.

Game 7

The main purpose of this post is to entertain... Also it is to convince you all to be watching the Ducks/Red Wings game as the Ducks pull off another massive upset. Seriously I can not remember the last time I was looking forward to a hockey game this much, well other then Game 6. 

Also I would like to take this time to make a quick prediction and talk about animal abuse. First prediction ( and no it's not about hockey, so don't stop reading if you don't care about hockey because it is not related) is that twitter will eventually just turn into facebook, and no longer be just status updates. Seriously I mean myspace was first I would say and people switched to facebook for it to be less messy, and now facebook has all this "apps" that you can add to make your page more messy... hmm.. sounds like myspace. And now twitter is even less messy then facebook but eventually will turn into what facebook was initially with no apps. 

And I decided I will talk about animal abuse later, because no one really cares if animals are being abused or not.... haha. Hope this isn't the wrong crowd for that joke.

Too busy?

So I realized today that I have not blogged in a long time and I actually had a few thoughts that I wanted to blog on, and most of these thoughts directly concern facebook. Let me note things that I find hilarious:

1. When people update their status more then 3 times a day. Although sometimes even three is too many, but really I mean the people that update their status like five times within the hour. I mean no offense or anything but do you think people really care that much? I don't know just putting it out there.

2. When people always include something in their status about their boyfriend or girlfriend. I realize I say this and everyone assumes I am the bitter single guy, but actually, I am the more content with my life then anyone else guy. But I think it is so funny that people will note that they got together with their bf or gf, and feel the need to say they had a great time. When I see that all I think is "Really? You had a fun time with the person you are dating? That is absolutely shocking that you enjoy spending time with that person!" (Please note the sarcasm) I would also like to note that counting down the days until you will see your significant other is really lame, and also saying that you miss them everyday is again not surprising to anyone I'm pretty sure. 

Anyways I also realized I am very busy with life right now since work is finally starting full long days again, so coaching three soccer team, playing on two soccer teams, helping out at youth actually takes up a lot/all of my free time, so I have a feeling this week is going to be super hectic. But I now understand what Loverboy was talking about when he said "Everybody's working for the weekend"

That's Embarrassing

So the other day I did something not so smart, well it seemed like a good funny joke at the time but it just ended up with me looking like a big idiot. So rather then just keep it to myself I decided to let everyone know that I am a big idiot. Here is the scenario . . . 

So I am driving down Henderson at around 7:30 and I am in the lane furthest away from the sidewalk. On the sidewalk I see a couple walking down the street holding hands, the girl is pretty short and has relatively long blonde hair and the guy is slightly taller with brown hair. For anyone that knows my area or can imagine this situation obviously I assume it is Andrew and Jade. So I do the only logical thing that anyone would do in the situation which is turn my car facing directly towards them and lean on the horn. Finally I get to about within a cars length away of running them down with my car, so I go for the wave to realize it was not them, so I play it cool and go for the ol' hair slick back. If only those people knew that I wasn't trying to run them down in my car and I just wanted to say hi to my friends. 

I immediately call Andrew to make sure it was not actually him and Jade on the street and I could tell immediately by the indoor atmosphere in the phone background it was not them. Now that is embarrassing, luckily for me it just seems my most embarrassing moments are also my proudest. 

All Ducky

So clearly right now my life revolves almost completely around the Ducks Stanley Cup Playoff run. Although a lot of people counted them out because this was the year for the Sharks I was just not so convinced, I will admit I did have my doubts and I did not expect the Ducks to win some of the games so handily but I still had a feeling that they could pull this one off. And I mean after you knock off the top ranked team everything else is possible right. Also I would like to point out that since March 8 the Ducks have only lost in regulation time to two teams the Sharks and once to the Oilers, so I mean that is pretty good I would say. So next up Detroit Red Wings. 

Also I guess you could say that I am kind of looking for a job again, unfortunately being the guy at the bottom of the chain when your boss highers too many people puts you in a bad position. So I'm really hoping for Lawn Man to work out, just will have to wait for someone to quit, hopefully that is sooner rather then later. But I have applied at several places give them today to call and then starting tomorrow I will have to start calling them. 

It's all good

So I have now been working at Jerry's Concrete for two days. Also that is not Scary Geri as the person in charge, it is another Jerry, just for the heads up. Anyways today work was pretty much awesome, seriously it was hard work just ripping out the concrete and digging and lots of wheelbarrowing, but it was good times, and I don't really mind doing that grunt work that people don't always want to do.

Anyways there are a few things I have noticed that I find so funny about people.

1. Although everyone smokes at least one cigarette every hour they will all still acknowledge that me not smoking is a good idea.

2. I don't have much in common with a lot of these people because I have not been to jail, or been caught for a DUI. 

Anyways there is more I just can't think of them, because all I can think about is the Ducks game tonight!

I am so anxious I was going to nap after work today, but I just can't sleep knowing that the Ducks can take a 3-0 lead in the series tonight. Man that would be unreal. Go Ducks!

Working Life

So tomorrow I start my first day as a working man in the working world. And we have a theory of how this will go. Week one I will like it, Week two I start not enjoying life so much, however at the end of the week I get a paycheck and life is good. This will continue until eventually one of two things will happen:

1. The paycheck at the end of the week is not actually worth how much I do not like my job.

2. I actually like the job so I don't just look forward to a paycheck.

I have a feeling this will be a good one though, should be better then River City at least. Although I am sure that the perks will just not compare, at least I will be more then just really cheap labour. Anyways I will keep you posted on my life as a "normal" everyday working person.

Faster

Have you guys ever gone to the gym and been riding the bike or running on a treadmill or using whatever stationary machine you choose that day and then seen someone you didn't want to talk to so you speed up?

Ya it hasn't happened to me either, but isn't that such a funny idea if it does happen, you know you speed up then realize you aren't going anywhere and you are stuck there, so they come to talk to you so you stop peddling (moving), so that you can get off and walk away. The irony of that situation is just awesome. I hope it happens to me one day and I will reenact the situation I just described. 

Also ran into my neighbor Peter today, he actually scared me. I pulled into my driveway and I heard some loud engine right next to me and I thought there was a motorcycle following me. But it was just Peter showing me his scooter. 

Providence College

Well the Providence Train has nearly come to a stop. Two exams left and then my time there is over, well and the volleyball wind-up, which is what I took more seriously then school for the most part so it is only fitting to finish with that.

But the volleyball is over, my days as a college athlete have to come an end for now, maybe one day I will find myself back there, however this is unlikely. Looking back on the whole experience is quite amazing coming from me who said I would never ever go to Prov as a student. There is not a second of it I would take back. The whole experience is definitely worth it, the only thing I would do differently is find a way to live in residence. I mean seriously that is good times. (I hope I get some royalties from prov for all the students I send their way from this)

But anyways although volleyball didn't end the way we wanted the season was still a great one, and definitely one that I will not forget. Full of lots of ups and downs all year long we still had a great time, and I am sure I could speak for almost everyone. Yesterday night in Kansas among joking around with the guys we somehow had a serious sentimental moment for a while when we all realized that we made some really good friends this year. Ya sounds like a lame typical thing, but I have been with a lot of teams that have short seasons and the people that you only see at volleyball don't often become your good friends you stay in touch with, or not in my case. I have a few but none will compare to this. So thank you to coaches and teammates this really was a great season to remember. 

Baseball

So usually when I am trying to figure out if people are actually reading my blog I await for comments to flood my email because some has read something I wrote and had one of these several responses:

"I hear ya Man"

"Ya I totally agree and feel the same way"

"Amen Brother"

"Wow your funny Ryan"

So whenever you read a blog and come up with one of those responses feel free to write them down, maybe sometimes just write one anyways to boost my self-esteem. Actually even though there aren't comments I see the counter goes up and that is what really matters anyways. 

But now for baseball, I don't really mind the sport that much, but people are all pumped the the Blue Jays are 2 - 0 so far, but seriously everybody there are 160 games left in the season there is no way you could get pumped up after every single game. So c'mon guys don't burn out before the playoffs, because really you just have to take it easy in such a long and mostly meaningless season. Anyways also I hate the Jays, you guys can do better. 

Yup

Ya that picture pretty much says it all.

Also the reason this actual blog is better then reading it on facebook is because in my actual blog there are dramatic spaces for paragraphs and such, and facebook just clumps everything together... So lame... like blogging. So for all you facebook readers the actual sit of my blog is this. 

www.ryanmalech.blogspot.com 

Yes I just wrote the website for my blog on my actual blog. 

But isn`t that picture just the best. 

Mucus

So lately I have been battling a deathly illness known as the common cold. And of course that means your typical coughing, stuffy nose, being totally congested feeling and sore throat. But I would like to address this post specifically to the stuffy nose.

Have you ever wondered if it is possible to run out of mucus (snot) in your nose? Seriously I have been blowing my nose several times a day sometimes for several minutes on end without my nose feeling like it has been cleared up for longer then then like 5 minutes. It makes me think how have I not gotten rid of all the possible mucus in my body by now. It is absolutely ridiculous. If it is not possible to run out of mucus is it actually essential to have so that you may live, if I not I say we develop a drug to eliminate all mucus from the body, thus we would solve the problem of the common cold, and people would love the seasons changing so much more. Although apparently in Winnipeg the seasons only pretend to change until it snows two days later.

Convenience

Since the turn of time people have always been trying to make things more convenient, and I would just like to say that sometimes they are not more convenient at all. The most easy example of this that I can think of is in the bathroom.  Now some things are helpful for example when the tap is on a censor and you don't have to turn the tap to get it started to wash your hands. Also I have rarely seen it but soap that comes up as a censor is also very helpful. 

However there are a few things that are not convenient:

1. The automatic flush for the toilet (For the urinal it's cool). You would think that this would be a very helpful thing I mean you get up and it flushes, but what about when you are going to the bathroom and you lean forward a bit and it flushes prematurely. I mean seriously that censor is just to sensitive. I don't want to flush early, also sometimes if it flushes early while you are sitting you may get some water splashed on you. On top of all this say the toilet flushes several times while you are in there and people around are wondering, "What is wrong with that guy flushing several times."

2. I also don't like those wave and the paper comes out things, seriously they are slow and annoying and they hardly ever work.

I would like to now take your time and give a shout out, occasionally I tell people I will give them a shout out then don't do it right away because I want to lure them into reading the blog everyday waiting for their shout out. So this ones for you Jason Peters, thanks for the inspiration in blog writing, and congratulations on that award you keep winning... Coach of the Year... or whatever it is. 

A True Underdog Story

On Friday night I had a dream and it went something like this...

Our Volleyball team went to our conference championships with more confidence then ever, we destroy every team in our pool and don't lose a single set. We move into the playoffs and easily handle every team until the semi-finals where we are somewhat pushed and have to take the game to three but we still win. In the finals we manhandled our opponents and captured the Conference Championship. 

If you forgot already I said this was a dream and the past events I described were false. I will now describe what actually happened.

After a long trip down to Mankato, Minnesota our team is stoked and ready to go. We start off ranked first in our pool and third overall in the tournament. Our first game went exactly as I dreamed actually, we won fairly easily and felt like we were ready to go for the weekend, finally playing some good ball this year. Second game we also won, a mental lapse in the second set forces us to go to three sets, but the right outcome occurs. The third match in pool play was against Michigan Tech, we come out strong and win the first set, but drop the second and are forced to play the third. And we lost the third set forcing us to finish second in our pool, which means several extra matches to get to the championships.

These extra matches start off with a challenge match against St. Thomas and they weren't all that great so we made it to the Championship side of the tournament. I now need to explain that the tournament was a double knock-out tournament so once you lost on the winners side you are on the losers side but can still make your way back to the winners side if you don't lose any more games. Our first game on the championship side was against River Falls, they were quite a strong team and showed that by absolutely embarrassing us in the first set. After a little pep talk from yours truly the second set was a completely different team out there and we were able to force a third set to stay on the top of the bracket. The third set started off great playing point for point it was a really good match. And then when the score was tied at four points a piece our teams starting right side ran to get a ball and stepped on a ball cart and the corner of the wall and was forced to leave the game and eventually the rest of the tournament. Unfortunately this loss of a player completely deflated the team we proceeded to lose the set very badly, to the point of embarrassment.

This was the end of day 1, and our team was now in a lose and your out situation, every game on the losers side was only one set to 25 points. If we lost one set we were done, this was not the situation we wanted to be in. Also on day two most games were back to back. 

Day two begins with a game against Michigan Tech who had earlier beat us, after coming out to a slow start in the one set death match being down 4-0 our team rallied back and ended up beating Michigan Tech. Our confidence had just started to get higher, our next game was going to be against the top ranked team in our conference, University of Wisconsin - Eau Claire, they had been upset and forced to the bottom bracket, they were also ranked third in the country. And we came out gunning, playing them point for point back and forth and we eventually took the match. This would take us to another match against River Falls, the team that had embarrassed us the night before, in this game nothing was stopping us, it was personal now and there was no way they were going to beat us. In this game I decided it was time for me to put on a blocking clinic and had three huge blocks against their top power hitter momentum was in our favor as we won the match to make it to the finals against Minnesota State - Mankato. 

To beat Mankato we would have to first beat them in a best of three and then a one set battle to 25 if we won the first, because they still had not lost they needed two losses to be out of the tournament, and our team had been playing for a lives for a while now. We came out strong and won the first set, the second set we played decently but Mankato stole it from us forcing a third set. We played hard and eventually took the third set completely overwhelming Mankato and shocking them as they had beat us the last time we played them. This forced another one set to 25 winner take all situation. We had not battled elimination all day to get here and we weren't stopping now. They beat us to 8 and had the lead as we switched sides, but it wasn't enough for them, Troy Esau went back and put on a serving clinic acing them several times to eventually push us to far ahead for Mankato to have a chance. 

And that is the story of how we became Conference Champions. Next up... National Champions?

Filter

So usually when people talk about having a filter they mean they want to not swear in front of certain people, or not make inappropriate comments in the wrong situation. That is not the type of filter I am talking about, I have no problem with the amount of swearing I do or the inappropriate comments I make in front of people... haha. The filter I need to work on is not saying dumb things, I don't mean like asking a question with an obvious answer. What I mean is... well it's hard to explain so let me present you with a scenario. 

You are standing around with a group of your friends, just having a good time, everyone is joking around about whatever the topic of the day is. Then all of a sudden someone makes a joke where they themselves are the prime target. Now at first everyone laughs along, but then there is this awkward pause where people think... Hey that might actually be true about him. And I am... I mean the person is thinking "Why did I just say that?" You may have figured out by now that person making the joke is me.

So the question for all of you is, "Is it worth the cheap laugh to make fun of yourself even though people might think your 'joke' is actually a truth?"

Also there is no way you can keep that up.

Addictions

Right now you guys are probably expecting to get a very serious talk about addictions from me and that is exactly what you are going to get. 

A few days ago I was offered something too me that I knew that I should not get involved in, I just knew right at the beginning it would be a really bad choice if I said yes when I was offered. Originally I denied the offer because it was going to cost me some money, but my friend said to me that I could do it for no extra costs, and this experience is something completely special and will be over in a little while anyways. 

Unfortunately I did not say no to the offer and I have become a victim of March Madness, and although I have not watched any college basketball all year and am not a huge basketball fan to begin with I cannot leave my TV knowing that a game is going on and I can not be constantly updating my bracket. Also if you were wondering I am currently 13 for 16. First place in my pool. 

Man that thing is long and hard. 

Religious View? Really?

Know what I think is really funny/really strange? When I go on facebook (yes lame I am blogging about facebook) and look at peoples religious views and they write something like: Music or Live Life to the Fullest, or Take Every Chance You Get. And I am pretty sure those are not religious views or religious convictions. I think it is so weird when people write that. I know some people probably will look at mine and see I have Jesus written down and will say that is not a Religious view either just so you can try to start an argument, but I really mean I am doing my best to follow the teachings of Jesus, but that is too much to write so I shortened it. And following those teachings does have convictions. 

Also this just in:

I don't think that will fit in there.

Blog Ideas

So today in class I started a new Word Document that I plan to always keep open while I am at my computer, and that folder is called Blog Ideas. So hopefully now I will be able to always think of something to blog about, thus filling my readers fix to read a blog. I will limit my thoughts so I don't use them all in one blog because I don't want you all to be expecting big things everyday.

Today the topic will be my creepy neighbor. Yes... I have a creepy neighbor. And this may become a long story, but that is because every detail is just so important. So let me begin, I really hope you take the time to read the whole thing.

I moved into a new house in October I think it was, and had yet to really look into meeting new people in the neighborhood other then those I already knew (HOLLA!). Then in January everything changed, what started as an innocent friendship became a seeking for a best friend.

Situation: I am shoveling the driveway, and all of a sudden I hear someone yell from across the street. This seemingly friendly figure walks over and starts to make the typical small talk you make with a new neighbor, and eventually you learn a bit about the guy. Here is what I observed and learnt about our neighbor:

1. He is just all around average, height and weight.

2. Stutters a little bit.

3. He is in his early thirties.

4. He still lives with his parents, and does not have a girlfriend. (I don't think he ever has)

5. He is a big talker, not cocky, but can talk forever. 

We continue to talk and eventually he asks me if I play poker, I tell him I dabble a bit. And he proceeds to ask me for my cell number, not wanting to give him my actual number after only a brief meeting, I give him my "cell number" and he leaves, that is the end of our first meeting.

A few weeks pass and I have not seen him for a while, as you have seen in the past list I failed to learn/remember this guys name. So our next meeting comes, and basically he asks if I had gotten any of texts, and obviously I have not and I make up a story about how I just got a new phone number. So he gets me to go inside and get my phone so he can get my number and phone me to make sure that it works. Through this whole process he is always saying my name, which makes me so aware that I do not remember his, eventually he gets my number and it works. Surprise!

Now it has been a few months since we had talked in detail other then the occasional wave while I drive by, but yesterday I get a phone call from an unknown number (No I didn't save his number in my phone)

Neighbor: Hey Ryan, how's it going?

Me: ... Good, How are you?

Neighbor: Going good, it's Peter Your Neighbor.

Me: Oh yea... What's going on? (I definitely did not think his name was Peter)

Peter: Nothing, what have you got going on tonight?

Me:I have volleyball tonight.

Peter: Oh man I am having a Poker Night with the guys tonight. 

Me: Sorry man I can't do it tonight you will have to let me know another time.

Peter: But I am going to Hawaii on Friday, just skip volleyball

HOLD IT

I did not realize I was someone he wanted to see right before he went to Hawaii, I mean seriously he is early 30's and I just turned 20...

Me: Sorry man can't do that.

Peter: Well what days work for you in the future?

Me: Well I pretty much have volleyball until the second week of April.

Peter: That's fine I'm not back from Hawaii until the first week of April.

Me: Ok well let me know next time, gotta go.

Peter: Ok... (He goes on to explain the process and time they usually play poker, and when it is usually arranged by) Cya later.

And that is the last I have heard from Peter. Hopefully there will be many adventures with him to come.  And I sincerely hope you stayed and read this whole post because it is super-duper.

Be Yourself

Question: Want to know what I hate? 

Answer:Yes. 

What I hate: When people untag themselves in pictures on facebook all the time. If you are one of those people who do this all the time and are reading this I would like you to explain yourself. Now this might come out of harsh, but seriously if you don't allow people to actually see you labelled at the bottom it makes no difference. Or if you are SOO embarrassed of what you looked like then how come you looked like that in the first place. I mean if you are so concerned about other people seeing you in pictures then don't leave your house. Or best case scenario you could create a guard on your face that does not allow your face to focus on the camera. 

Also another thing I don't understand is people who are embarrassed by being around other people doing "stupid" (however they are usually funny) things. Whenever I see people that are just too cool to be around other people who are confident enough to be themselves I just want to find a way to make them feel as uncomfortable as possible. Because seriously grow up, your not too cool for school. Be Yourself that Never Gets Old. 

Also I got a birthday card that was awesome for two reasons 

1. It was The Office. 

2. It talked. Yuppers, Michael Scott talked to me in a b-day card. 

See ya Later

Today I will live my last day as a teenager. And I am not one to write those super lame sappy year in review things. I think I already mentioned that at New Years when everyone always says the same things over again, and seriously everyone writes the same thing because they don't want to be so specific that everyone knows everything about them, so they leave it so general that it actually applies to everyone. 

But all in all this year was pretty good, and I am looking forward to life as an adult, not just by legality but by lack of a teen in my age. So peace out teenage years, you will not be long forgotten. Because seriously 20 feels so much older then 19. 

Word Around The Blogesphere

So I have not blogged in a very long time. Far too long in fact, since I have not yet blogged this month, after such a strong month of blogging in February is was probably hard for a lot of you to go so long without your daily fix. 

I have now been sitting at this spot in my blog post for about five minutes and I can not think of anything that has happened to me lately that is worth blogging about. Other then the fact that I am pumped that I have nearly lost ten pounds on my venture back to the weight that I graduated at. 

Also this past week I moved into my bedroom, which means that I slept in a bed for the first time in a while. And let me tell you for those of you that have tried this whole sleeping in a bed thing, it really is quite lovely. I would recommend taking a few weeks/months off of sleeping in a bed and then try it. It may be the best thing that you can do. 

On another note, I have not had McDonalds in nearly three weeks and there is a chance that I am going through withdrawal, if anyone has any healthy alternatives that taste just as good or better then a nice greasy burger from Ronald then please let me know, I would love to give it a try. 

But I am off to bed now, hopefully I will not allow such a drought to happen on my blog again. Peace out, and Happy Birthday Pops. 

Celebrities and Movies

I realized two things about myself today: 

1. I think that in general I don't really like movies. I have a pretty narrow view of what makes a good movie, so I pretty much only like movies of the same genre, but even then I like comedies but I am pretty quick to point out a comedy that I don't like. Also I think fantasy movies are lame and have no merit to them, yes Lord of the Rings I am talking directly to you. Also I like documentaries and movies based on a true story about almost anything. So that right there is my movie range, and outside of that I don't like a lot of movies. Because quite frankly I don't like things that can't be real. 

2. I think celebrity gossip is pretty lame. I mean if you are going to talk about something talk about people you actually know. I mean I love "The Office" as much as the next guy, but even though I talk about them as my friends, I don't actually think that they are my friends. I mean stuff like who dated who, and so and so is actually gay, and who is doing what at exactly 5:12 on a Thursday night, I mean really who gives a rip. Ya pretty lame, I occasionally try to keep up with it just so I can hold my own in conversation, but I think that I am going to stop, and just be like, "Ya I actually don't really care what Paris Hilton did last week, because I was actually living my own life"

Hi-5

No I am not talking about the juice.

So I recently started watching How I Met Your Mother, and there are two ways I can relate to Barney.

1. I have in the past constantly told someone that I am their best friend, even though they keep saying I am not. I am pretty sure we are not best friends but that joke never gets old. You know who you are, if you don't know who you are take this post and put it up to a mirror.

gnoW nahtanoJ

2. I just love a good Hi-5, seriously there is no better feeling then a good smacking together of two human hands. And in How I Met Your Mother Barney even does a hypothetical Hi-5, man that's the best. There have been a few instances in my life including today where I have been denied a Hi-5, although these people are still my good friends, I would like them better if they would return my Hi-5, because really they will enjoy it more then I will. And these are the names of my two friends who are also known as Hi-5 deniers, but you can still be friends with them, their names are, and I will use code again as not to give away their identity.

kcyD hsoJ
yksnapahcS nevetS

So if we are ever in passing I would love to partake in a Hi-5 or a nice pound it with anyone, although I must confess I will wash my hands immediately after, due to cleansing reasons. But I will save that for another post as to keep you all intrigued and coming back.

American

After watching Survivor last night, I came to the conclusion that I need to become an American so that I can get onto reality TV shows. 

The Shows I would want to get onto are:

1. The Amazing Race

2. Survivor

3. American Gladiators

That is pretty much it, so the only ways that I can become American are to actually move to the states and become a citizen or just marry an American. So in the next year I will be looking for a way to fulfill my reality dreams, because I know that could be my full time job because obviously I would win at all of them, thus making me a well-off fellow. 

Community Living

Basically I am a big fan of it, and contrary to most people, I actually miss living with 12 other people that are around the same age as me. You see as much as I have no problem spending full days by myself, I really miss having other people around all the time so you don't have to plan to do anything, you just do something because you live together and it is just the best. 

Just throwing that out there, living with other people is the best. Hopefully I will do it again one day. 

TV

So I never consider myself someone who watches much TV, however I am very select in the shows that I watch, other then religiously placing myself on the couch every Sunday to watch football for as long as I possibly can there are very few shows that I watch, but there are three of them, and they are. 

3. Flight of the Conchords

2. Arrested Development (although it was cancelled after three seasons I am still hoping for a movie)

1. The Office (All-time fave)

Fact, I will almost never go to sleep without watching an episode of the office before I go to bed. 

Fact, I try to say "That's what she said" at least twice everyday. 

Fact, my favorite episode of the office is "The Fire" episode, not sure why, but that was the one that really got me into the show, I'm not sure if it was the desert island game, or who would you do that drew me in. 

Last year for my birthday I realized I shared my birthday with a dog whom I did not really appreciate, (not just that dog, I don't really care for animals in general) and i thought it would be so funny if all day they celebrated the dogs birthday and forgot about mine, and then at the end of the day someone would find out it was my birthday and want to say something, but I insist they didn't. Several reasons this is funny: 

1. Obviously this happened in an episode of the office when Micheal has a surprise b-day party for Meredith and her birthday is a month away and it was Ryan's birthday that day.

2. At the time I was Ryan the Intern, and this situation happened to Ryan the Inter. 

Anyways, maybe one day this will actually happen, however I am expecting birthday wishes from people regardless.

 

Sports Favorites

So many of you know that I am a big Sports fan, which means that obviously I have a favorite team and player in every sport. So I decided I would share them with you.

Sport: Hockey

Team: Anaheim Ducks (formerly Mighty Ducks)

Player: Paul Kariya (unfortunately not a Duck any more). Also Teemu Selanne

Sport: Football

Team: Dallas Cowboys

Player: Marion Barber

Sport: Basketball

Team: Dallas Mavericks 

Player: Dirk Nowitzki

Sport: Baseball (although I don't watch it that much I still have favorites from the Sport)

Team: Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (Formerly Anaheim Angels)

Player: Vladamir Guerero 

Sport: Soccer

Team: Bayern Munchen 

Player: Oliver Kahn (but he is retired), Current Fav: Lukas Podolski 

Remember this.

For my random fact today I thought that I would let you all know that my favorite movie of all time is Remember the Titans. I once watched that movie before nearly every single soccer game one season, and don't tell me it wasn't worth it because we won the championship and went on a 22 game win streak or something awesome like that.

I can pretty much quote nearly the whole movie, and still think that it is the perfect movie for all occasions.

A close second would have to be Anchorman, another great movie for all occasions... well nearly all occasions, I can honestly watch the scene where Jack Black kicks Ron Burgundy's dog over the bridge over and over and never get bored of it. On another note (lucky you you are getting a fact within a fact) I once dressed up as Ron Burgundy for celebrity night at Prov sports camps. Unfortunately I think that I left that beautiful suit in Vancouver, if not it is lost forever in time, if I ever find it again, I hope to wear it on several occasions. 

Condiments

Fact o' the Day. 

I am very particular about the condiments that I use. Most specifically I hate mustard, it makes me sick. And I am not just saying that like most other people do, mustard actually will make me throw up if it gets in my system in any way. I know that some people (Matt Wall) have not believed me and tried to make me eat mustard, well you should know that I am not making this up. Even the smell of mustard makes me gag a little bit.

Because of this I have become known by some people as JK (Just.Ketchup) Because that is how I will always order all of my burgers at McDonalds and any other burger place in fact. And that is just the easiest way to order it without being very specific. If they mess up my order I will become very upset and may do something rash. 

Now you have it, don't fool around with my condiments!

Arguments

Fact about me for the day is that I enjoy a good argument/debate. Probably debate is a better word, argument generally implies that someone is wrong, debate I would say implies that there is neither a right nor wrong side just the people involved have differing opinions. Since I am never wrong and it is not wise to argue with someone who is not as smart as you since there is everything to lose for you, I prefer debates. Haha just kidding I'm not never wrong, however I am always right (Ok stop with the lame jokes Ryan). 

But seriously I enjoy a good debate, and will sometimes take the opposite side if everyone is on the same side of an opinion because I firmly believe that you probably don't really know what you think if you have only ever talked about the matter with people who agree with you. I mean if your whole life everything around you thinks the same as you, you will never actually be truly challenged to find out what you really think. So sometimes I start arguments on the side that I don't agree with just because I know it is the less popular side, and then when I all of a sudden "switch" sides at the end you feel like you have won, but really I agreed with you the whole time, at least you know what you think now. 

Feet

Feet are disgusting, and mine are no exception. For my fact of the day I would like to share some facts about my feet that are pretty awesome and unique and something that you might not know.
Although my feet are average in size, I have a webbed toe on my left foot. And to answer all questions before you all ask, no it doesn't hurt, I don't want it cut and removed and I am not a better swimmer because of it. Although that may be the reason why I am such a big Anaheim Ducks fan, but who knows. Also I have been known to have hobbit feet, I am pretty sure that it just means that I am more of a man then the average person because my hair does not stop at my ankles.

Colours

Here is another random fact about me, for as long as I can remember I have never really had a favorite color. I am not sure if that is normal for most people or not. But if anyone ever asks me my favorite color I will either lie and answer quickly to fit in, or I will hum and haw for a while until I come to the conclusion that I do not have a favorite color. You know I thought it might be a phase and eventually I would come to my senses and realize that there is just one color that is clearly my favorite, but that has not happened. I think my favorite might be green... but it also might be dark blue, or even dark purple (the same color as the Ducks) but really I can not decide. 

Also on the note of color, I have always felt more comfortable spelling the word color the American way rather then the Canadian way. Not sure what it is, but it really makes me cringe a little bit, which really makes me uncomfortable that the title is spelt the Canadian way.  I could change it, but I will leave it just so that I am more accepted among my Canadian culture.

Super Bowl

So today is the Super Bowl and as many of you may have remembered in an earlier blog post this playoff season since my team was unable to play in the Super Bowl for various reasons, the main one being a poor coach, also there is a chance that their record was not good enough to get in but that is still debatable. But I pledged my allegiance to Kurt Warner and the Arizona Cardinals and they are in the big show today. So go Kurt.

Random fact about me that you may not know is that I enjoy a cold shower. After a practice or a game I will almost always have a cold shower.

Did you know...

So all these people are making all these posts in facebook notes about writing 20 things you might not know, and tagging 20 people or whatever then you have to write it and I would like to announce I am not going to do that. However I will add a new part of my blog where at the end I will write a little fact that people might not know, but I will save that for the end.

I am pretty happy with volleyball so far hopefully tomorrow we can continue in our winning ways against Red River, should be a good game, hopefully you can all make it out. Red River College at 7. Also the home crowd was good times the other day, I like the missing of quite a few serves in the third set when CMU decided to play with the crowd but then ended up missing their serves anyways, they stopped bouncing the ball more after that.

And for the fact you might not know. I would rather park far away somewhere and walk then wait forever for the closest spot in the parking lot. Like I will drive by the close spots first just in case it turns up, but if it's not there I am just parking far away and walking, it is usually faster anyways that way. However if the temperature is below minus 40 that fact does not apply. Because who wants to walk far when it's below minus 40. No one is the right answer.

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

So after the last post that I wrote and other people prompted me to think about what I am doing I tried to decide if I should write a post back for everyone about what I am doing or trying to do in response to the readings, but I didn't think that was the best idea. But after thinking about what other people wrote and what I am doing I came to the answer "Not Enough". I think that a lot of other people often come to that same response when they have an idea and people call them out on it. But I am trying not to use that as an excuse but as a motivation.

On another note but somewhat similar I was chatting with someone and they came to the conclusion that unless you are fully living what you think you should not be telling other people about it. But then nothing would happen and no one would be sharing any of their ideas, no matter what ideas or principles we are trying to live by we are never fully living up to them. Anyways, I feel like I didn't word that properly, but hopefully ya'll get what I mean.

Also a few of you may have remembered a while back that I said I was opening the floor for other people to give me subject ideas or stories to write, and there was only one entry, so you know who you are and you won! And they suggested I write about walking in a crowded hallway. I am sure this is something we can all relate to, imagine this scenario...

Your walking in a crowded hallway and you can see a small path towards exactly where you need to be, so you start on this tough trek. A few steps in you see someone else coming the other way, also using the only path towards their exit from the crowd. They are completely unavoidable but you need to use this path, finally you get to each other and it is the awkward "Oh dear which way are you gonna step," situation. Of course no one says anything to the other because that would just make the situation more weird. You both step to the same side, still blocked, and the side step the other way, this continues to happen for perhaps even five steps, finally someone allows the other to go past and somehow you still bump shoulders. You utter to yourself "That was awkward," but they heard you, making the situation even worse.

Congratulations to the winner/only contestant, maybe next time I have a contest there will be a prize better then you get your thoughts posted. Also feel free to present yourself however you feel led.

PS: I would like to hope that if I wrote a blog about child labour being a good thing, that I would get as many replies as I did when I wrote about animal rights being ridiculous. Unfortunately I doubt that would be the case. I don't think child labour is a good thing by the way.

Reading

Today I was reading Irresistible Revolution again, and there were two paragraphs that specifically stuck out to me, I just felt like posting them in here:

Not long ago, a few friends and i were talking with some very wealthy executives about what it means to be the church and to follow Jesus. One businessman confided, "I too have been thinking about following Christ and what that means, so I had this made." He pulled up his sleeve to reveal a bracelet engraved with WWJD. It was custom-made of twenty-four karat gold. Maybe each of us can relate to this man - bound up in the materialism of our culture, his distorted execution of that desire.

It is much more comfortable to depersonalize the poor so we don't feel responsible for the catastrophic human failure that results in someone sleeping on the street while people have spare bedrooms in their homes. We can volunteer in a social program or distribute excess food and clothing through organization and never have to open up our homes, our beds, our dinner tables. When we get to heaven, we will be separated into those sheep and goats Jesus talks about in Matthew 25 based on how we cared for the least among us. I'm just not convinced that Jesus is going to say, "When I was hungry, you gave a check to the United Way and they fed me," or "When I was naked, you donated clothes to the Salvation Army and they clothed me." Jesus is not seeking distant acts of charity. He seeks concrete acts of love: "you fed me... you visited me in prison... you welcomed me into your home... you clothed me."

Again neither of these are my thoughts they are just thoughts I agree with. Gotta love Shane Claiborne.

Animal Activists

So I was thinking the other day in Psych as we constantly talked about animals and communication. Why is it that I hate animals so much? And then I started to think about it for a while. Really it is not that I hate animals I just think it is absolutely ridiculous to treat animals as if they are humans. And seriously this whole animals rights thing is a load of garbage. Seriously who cares about how they kill the chickens that KFC uses in their meals, or how the pig was killed to get the bacon, or how old animals are when they are used for what they are meant for, which is to eat as food.

But the thing that I realized I most don't like about animals activists, is that it seems they are more into animal rights then they are into human rights. Which makes absolutely no sense at all. I mean I don't care how much you love your dog it should not be nearly as valuable to you as your friends or family. People who say their dog listens to them... sure... but does it answer back to you (if your answer is yes to that question... I don't know what to say to you). Also last comment on animal rights is that, I think your priorities are messed up, human rights first then we can get to the other stuff. I mean people were made in God's image not animals.