Worst Birthday Ever

So today was one of the boys at camp's birthday. And I have to tell you this situation, I wish I could remember every word of this conversation. I will do my best.

Let me set the stage.

We are playing team hand ball, and this one guy gets upset because the other team cheated and scored, I was giving the ball back to his team explaining that it was no goal, he had already stormed off, knocked over a few stairs, dumped the garbage can, and locked himself in the bathroom stall and possibly broken the toilet paper dispenser. I follow him in.

R: That is unacceptable and you know that.
T: I don't care this is the worst day ever and it's my birthday.
(He kicks the toilet)
R: You can't keep kicking and breaking things you will have to fix or pay for anything that breaks.
T: I don't care this is the worst day ever and it's my birthday.
R: Thanks you already have told me that.
(He walks out of the bathroom stall)
T: Well I just hate cheaters.
R: If you would have waited instead of storming off you would have found out that he didn't get away with it.
T: I still hate cheaters.
R: Thanks you already told me that.
(He kicks a vent)
R: You can't keep kicking and breaking things you will have to fix or pay for anything that breaks.
T: You already told me that.
(He got me)
R: So whats up man tell me whats going on here?
T: This is just the worst day ever on my birthday.
R: I am getting that, but what happened?
T: I had to stay in at recess and lunch...
R: How come?
T: Doesn't matter.
R: Go on
T: Then no one knew it was my birthday, I came here and had to play with cheaters.
R: Dude everyone has had a bad birthday before it happens.
T: Oh ya what is your worst birthday?
( I try to think if I have ever had a bad birthday)
R: Umm..
T: See told you.
(It came to me)
R: My worst birthday, my sister stuck her hand in my birthday cake and no body could have cake.
T: So who's sounds worse.
R: I think mine sounds worse, there was no cake for anyone.
T: Do you even remember what happened to me today?
R: Yes.
T: Then tell me.
(Oh crap, I can remember a bit)
R: You had to stay in at recess and lunch, and you had to play with cheaters today.
T: Thats not all.
R: Umm....
T: See you weren't even listening to me.
(Here comes a completely different battle. HA It came to me)
R: And no one remembered your birthday.
T: See mine was way worse.
R: I had no cake!
T: SO. .... I had to stay in at recess.
R: So.
(Maybe not the best thing to say, but you have to understand our relationship, that's just how we do)
T: And everyone forgot it was even my birthday
R: SO.
T: And I had to play with a cheater.
R: I have played with cheaters before.
T: On your birthday?
R: Yes.
(Nothing is said for a while, although he is done crying now)
R: You can choose to make this a good birthday with what we got, or you can sit here and continue to sulk about it. But we are going to go out clean up the garbage and pick up those chairs.
(Says nothing but just kinda gives a groaning noise)
R: I want to help you have a good birthday, but you need to help yourself have a good birthday.
(Probably one of my better lines)
T: Fine.

Ryan wins and he proceeds to have a good birthday. A reminder this whole conversation happened in the bathroom.